Discipline

Its lunch at work and I'm wanting to go home.  Right now, I'm all motivated thinking "Oooh, when I get home, I'll get a good, quick workout in before supper.  It'll be awesome."

Yet, I know that as soon as I get in my car to drive home, that desire will wane.  I'll think how easy it would be to just get home and relax, not do anything productive. 

Its Friday, you're still sore from the previous 2 days, you can do more on Saturday.

My brain has an unlimited supply of excuses to do nothing but sit on my ass and veg.  I'm working on training my brain, but its tough.  Its always been tough for me.

Throughout my life even things I really love its been hard for me to stick with them for extended periods of time. I dive in whole hog, go like mad for a bit, then get distracted, burnt out, or hit a hard spot and quit.

(That's a personal motto of mine, "When the going gets tough, quit!")

There's a variety of reasons for this.  Some of them are even legit.  Most are just excuses though.  

I keep saying I want to focus on some things in my life and get good at them.  

Writing, I love to write.  You'll see bits of my fiction tossed up here from time to time.  (Usually just written in one sitting with minor editing to use as story generators later on.)  

Guitar, I love music.  I have little natural aptitude for guitar, but I could be much better than I am if I just stuck with practicing and improving.  

And then the one that so many Americans say, "Get in shape."

Its just difficult for me to force myself to have the discipline to do these things on a regular, ongoing basis.  Partly because there is no real negative for me not doing them.  Nothing more than "oh, I didn't complete something again."   That's been par for the course since I was a kid, it doesn't phase me.

Laziness certainly plays a part in this.  As does perfectionism in a weird way.  I can't live up to the arbitrary high standard I set for myself, so why even try?  

Stupid? Yup.

Simple to change?  Ugh, not so much.